By Candy Friedman
The Younique Boutique, inc.
You could have the greatest boyfriend, fiancée or
husband in the world. He could be sweet and kind and do everything
that you ask him to do. The problem is, many times you have
to ask him to do something rather than him just doing it on
his own. Is this a bad thing? Does this mean that he isn't
pulling his own weight in the relationship when it comes to
the household chores? Does it seem like you are the one that
does most of the work in the relationship and or household?
Not necessarily.
Perhaps you are only noticing the things that you wish he
would contribute to the relationship or things you expect
him to do and you aren't seeing all the that he does.
If you have to ask (or beg) him to wash the dirty dishes
that have been sitting in the sink for 2 days, and you are
the one that handles all the finances in your home, buys the
groceries, cooks, cleans, does the laundry, etc. (or most
of the above) you might be wondering if things are 50/50.
But stop and take notice of the things that he does.
Does he do such things as checking the oil in your car, fix
things around the house, mow the lawn, and hang pictures up
for you? Does he open jars that are too tough for you to open,
and reach things that are too high for you to reach? Maybe
he is pulling his own weight.
If you think your spouse or significant other isn't contributing
enough to the relationship, talk about it and divide up the
work. Give him some more responsibilities. Delegate and assign
tasks for him to do (in a nice way and not like not like a
drill sergeant giving orders).
If he hasn't been doing so, give him the responsibility of
things like making the bed every morning, and if you cook,
have him help wash the dishes after dinner. If he cooks, you
clean the dishes. If he has a certain area of the house as
his area, like the garage or his office, then ask him to keep
this space tidy. Think of other things that he can do to make
the division of the work around the house more equal.
So take notice of all that he does do, if he isn't helping
enough, give him some responsibilities that belong to him
only. Maybe he isn't helping enough because he doesn't know
what's expected of him. Maybe other people have done those
things for him in past relationships and/or you have never
suggested that you wish for him to do more in the relationship
and household.
I'm not sure if you can say it is so clear-cut and things
should be 50/50 exactly. Sometimes it might be 60/40 or 70/30,
either with you or him doing more in the relationship, but
the trick is to keep the scales balanced and swinging both
ways.
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