By Jennifer Baumann
Your lovely fiancée has chosen her 'maids, and now
you're stuck with the task of finding just the right number
of family and friends to pair them with. How do you decide
who makes the cut?
The Usual Suspects
Remember: No matter what your family or friends say, there
aren't people who "must" be in the wedding party.
Select buddies you're close with-not guys you feel obligated
to ask. If you're unfamiliar with wedding etiquette, however,
here are the "usual" rules for including groomsmen
in your wedding party.
Brothers-yours and your bride's-come first. Unless there
are strange circumstances (if you don't speak to your brother,
for instance), your brothers and her brothers are automatically
in the wedding party. Next come your closest friends (some
may be relatives) who are responsible-and let's get real here-financially
sound. Being in a wedding, especially if travel is involved,
is expensive.
The Best Man for the Job
We'd like to advise you to ignore anyone who offers input
on choosing your best man, but we know this isn't entirely
realistic. We will say, however, that you'll want to choose
the male who is closest to you and has been there for you.
Whether he's a blood relative or close friend, you'll be glad
when your wedding day arrives that you picked your best friend.
Great Expectations
When you begin asking your friends to stand up in your wedding,
be sure to explain what's expected. The basics include:
Travel and accommodations
Attend the rehearsal and dinner
Renting tuxedo and shoes
Attend tuxedo fittings
Help plan and attend the bachelor party
Seat guests at the wedding
Walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid (maybe)
Dance with same bridesmaid
Wedding gift (unspoken requirement, of course!)
If this is manageable for your buds, you're in business.
Who Doesn't Make It
Keep in mind that a lot of money (whether it's yours is inconsequential)
and effort are being spent on the biggest day of your life.
You don't want to start your lifetime commitment with the
following burdens (trust me, I'm a wife): friends who get
too drunk, who are late for everything, and who have a reputation
for not showing up for important events. These guys are not
the best choice for groomsmen. If there's any doubt about
whether your skiing buddy, "GanjaDaddy," will fulfill
his duties, you probably shouldn't ask him. We suggest, based
on horror stories we've heard and witnessed, that you choose
your most responsible friends for this very special day.
This doesn't mean you load your wedding party with a bunch
of stiffs. You know what we're saying. Keep it reasonable.
About the Author: Jennifer Baumann is editor of Wedding Gazette, the resource
for real-world wedding planning that's packed with info on
how to plan your budget, how to avoid killing certain family
members, exhaustive theme ideas, plus tons of resources on
finding favors, necessary accessories, gifts for your groomsmen,
and much more.
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