Your wedding day should be a day of fun and celebration. Not a day to worry and stress out over all the wedding details and waiting for things to go wrong. To make sure that your day goes well, here are some tips and hints.

In the morning have your hair done and maybe your nails too. Pamper yourself. Have a massage and relax. Be sure that you eat on that day and that you drink plenty of water, but no alcohol. You want to be fresh and alert, not drunk and passing out at the altar.

Remember your goal of the day is getting married to the person you love. That said, you can take a few advance precautions to stress-proof your wedding day.

1. For your bridal party, select dependable attendants and give each one a copy of the tentative timeline for the day. Avoid asking children under three years old to be in the wedding party. If you must, let one of the attendants walk with the child or pair them with an older child.

2. Get all of your vendor service agreements in writing, in the form of a standard contract. Spell out exactly what you want and don't want when you make the bookings. Don't wait until the wedding day to make major changes.

3. Learning to delegate is vital, especially the day of the wedding. Put someone else in charge of paying the vendors, moving the guestbook from the ceremony to the reception site, double-checking with the caterers, or any other small task. Read through your list and assign everything!

4. Pack and bring along a bride's emergency kit which includes, extra panty hose, clear nail polish for runs, Kleenex, aspirin, spot remover, static cling spray, hemming tape, band-aids, a sewing kit with safety pins. For the groom's kit include: mouthwash, breath mints, razor, cologne and comb. They sell these kits already made online as well.

5. Have attendants arrive early to get dressed so there is no delay when the photographer arrives and no worry about making the wedding on time.

6. Fasten fake rings to the ring pillow, so they won't fall off. Have an adult carry the real ones. Also, don't give the pillow to the youngster until about two minutes before they start down the aisle.

7. Practice walking and turning in your gown. Make sure it fits properly before the ceremony. Find the easiest way to walk and turn with the train, so you're not tripping over it or having to hike it up. Get a feel for how the dress moves. Don't eat, drink, smoke or apply make-up after you've put the gown on for the ceremony. If you do drink, use a straw and be very careful.

8. In the week prior to the wedding, phone all your vendors and verify everything. Have them read back to you the date, time, location and exactly what they will be doing. Make sure they know the directions to the site. Bring a list of phone numbers so someone can call them if they don't show up on time.

9. Nervous stomach or not, eat something before the wedding. Have someone pick up a sandwich or veggie tray to share with the bridesmaids. You don't want to faint before all your friends and family!

10. Order enough food, drinks and place settings for all attending guests plus some extra in case of last minute arrivals.

11. Decide on your order of events at the reception in advance of the wedding day and be sure the wedding coordinator or DJ also has the information ahead of time.

12. Beware of asking friends or family to provide music, food, official photography or any other service at the wedding. They may have good intentions, but an awkward situation can arise if you aren't happy with the results. Also, never let a friend or relative serve as bartender, as they may give generous portions and deplete the supply or get inebriated themselves.

very informative, especially for an intended bride like myself. i'm taking this information and will file it for futher reference. thank you

Also - make sure you tell your DJ what to play and what not to play. Our DJ played alot of country music and none of our guests would dance to those songs.

as regards # 12, I am asking a friend of our family's to do my cake. she also did my best friend's cake, and I was extrememly pleased with that. professional bakers usually bake cakes in bulk, and freeze the layers, so while the cake may look beautiful, it's usually a bit dry. someone you know (as long as you know they know what they're doing) will make the layers of the cake closer to hte actual day, like only a day or two inadvance, so the will be much fresher and taste much better.

Anyone...please help!!! We are getting married next August(2004). The moment that we got engaged I knew that my bridal party would only be 3 people...the 3 people who have not just been friends but "sisters" to me. I had a really tough life growing up and when family wasn't there...they certainly were and embraced me as their family with unconditional love. I've absolutely never forgotten this and would love nothing more then these special ladies to stand up for us next summer. Where the problem arises is that my fiancee has 4 people that he would like to stand up for us. When his mother heard that I only had 3 in mind she suggested that I include my fiancee's sister to make 4 on my side. I'm not really comfortable including anyone else into the bridal party on my side. My wedding day is not only going to be special for my fiancee and I but for me and "my girls" too, since they have agreed to do us the honour and stand up for us. Since my relationship has been so strong and meaningful with these women it doesn't seem proper to throw someone else into the mix doesn't really share that bond with me. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to allow me to keep my 3 and also allow my fiancee include all 4 of his choices??? And also, does anyone have any ideas on how to politely break it to my motherinlaw-to-be that I don't want my future sisterinlaw in my wedding party (should that conversation come up again)???

Congratulations on finding someone with which to share your life. Although I understanding your special relationships with life long friends, you are now beginning a new and wonderful life. Why not include someone from your new family who in the future may turn out to be a new 'sister'. Good luck.

Keep in perspective that this is both you and your fiance's wedding. What does he say about having his sister in the wedding? I know personally if it was my brother I would demand to have him in the wedding, but for some its not that important. Talk it over with your soon to be hubbie -- if its not that important to him or he doesn't care too much then go with your 3 closest friends. It certainly is not a problem to have different amounts of attendents on either sides of the bridal party -- MAKE THIS DAY UNIQUE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.

I think you should go with your gut feeling. I have 3 in my party and he has two. Who says it has to be traditional. It is your day no body elses.

Can anyone assist me in knowing what "spot remover" is safe on wedding dresses. On a tight budget, I am wearing a friend's dress, It might need a slight alteration and is mostly pretty clean except for a couple spots on the bottom and train. In phoning dry cleaners I was informed I would need to clean the whole dress (they don't spot clean) for about 100 dollars. Obviously I will clean it after the wedding, before it's return and do not want to incur the costs of doing it twice (before and after) for just a couple spots. Thanks!!! whipple5616@msn.com

I have read that white chalk will cover a blemish on a dress nicely. If the spot is on the bottom ofthe dress then they may not be very noticeable anyway. Try to see if chalk will hide it enough. Then focus on cleaning it after the wedding. If chalk does not work, find something else to hide the spots. it is always easier to cover up than remove..... then again.. try simple soda water, then try to cover what is left after it dries. good luck.

Suzie, Your DJ was obviously an in-experenced idiot or that would not have happened. A Porfessional DJ will read the crowd, and when he sees that no one appreciates country music he's tries something else instead of continuing on with something that just does'nt work.

I decided to not have my sister-in-law and although I thought it was what I wanted that mattered most, the hell I went through for the year preceding my wedding wasn't even close to being worth it. Have her and swallow your pride, remember, choose your battles and this is certainly not one you will want to fight because no one will TRULY win!

Good luck :)

i would like to win a free wedding only because i fell bad that not all my family can make and my soon to be husband and i only have 150 bucks to spend on the wedding and that is not much these days and time sincedrly kimberly d davis

This is for Kim - winning a free wedding would be awesome! Even if you don't win a free wedding, you can still get married. All it takes to get married is an officiant and the marriage license (and two people in love, of course!). You can always have a renewal ceremony to share your love with your family later down the road when you have more money. Good luck!

I understand completely how you feel about your (3) fiends but I also know that this is a day that two people come together and this includes family. With my wedding I wanted my brothers in the party and I made sure he knew that. I know if I was the soon to be sister in law and I wasn't asked to stand I would feel a little hurt. I would shallow some pride and not be so selfish and invite her to stand. We all know you don't want to start the marriage out right away with problems from the inlaws, lol. Sometimes it's just not worth it.

I understand that ur friends mean alot to you.The sister will ofcourse feel left out and may think that you hate her.just include her,at times its worth,the family in low might take it too personal remember!am planning on getting married in four months time,am not close to my boyfriends sis but i choose her,why?because we must try to avoid some funny talks and remember,they are the head and we are the neck - they need us to support them.

I am a loner :(. I have no friends ,a only child and my parents died in a car crash two years ago. I finally meet a guy and I want to get serious but i can't What Do I do???

My boyfriend and i want to get married next year somtime and all of a sudden his mom and sister are trying to plan things without me huh hello this is supose to be my wedding and besides we haven't even set a date crazy huh!

Hey Mary hang in there it takes time but if you love him go for it get serious

All I can say is that I'm geting married on July 17th and I have never been so stressed out in my life. It's horrible. I thought planning your special day that you have looked forward to your whole life would be a great and fun experience, but instead it's been a nightmare. I have 8 bridesmaids and over 300 people invited to the wedding. Good luck to all you girls who plan a big wedding!

iwould like to win a wedding of the year as want to get married asap as my dad has m s and mum has had a stroke and i would like my dad to walk me down the the church line while he can still walk as the m s is catching up with him we can not aford it ourselfs and would love to win a wedding canyou help us email jan124@fsmail.net

The title is 'Suggestions for a stress-free wedding' like an easy day where you don't freak out. The title does not state that there is a 'free wedding' being given away.

to Michelle,

Well I'm sure you already decided whether or not to include your future sister-in-law in your wedding and I hope that you didn't compromise any of what you wanted for your wedding day! As for all you other brides who face this issue, this is a subject that is near to my heart. I panicked when we got engaged and added my 3 sister-in-laws to be at the suggestion of my mother-in-law to be because my fiance wanted to include so many of his friends. I would never ask him to exclude anyone important to him, but it has been a nightmare ever since. The guys are easy-going, but these 'ladies' have complicated matters so much that one of my best friends has withdrawn herself from the bridal party. I would have been much better off having the girls that I had spent the last 10 years imagining as part of the day eventhough I would've had only 3 and my fiance would have 6 on his side. Who the heck cares if the numbers are even or not - traditions are so silly - make your own! Planning a wedding can obviously get very stressful, and the relationships that you are developing with your new family could get off to a very rocky start! And consider all of the activities that take place that you have to include them in - all the get togethers and shopping excursions where you reminisce about all the past memories that likely include old boyfriends and other situations you'd not dare to speak about in front of his sister! Not to mention the bachelorette party!!! I am now one bridesmaid short so my best friend will be walking into the banquet hall with an usher on each arm! As for the church, they'll go in single file anyway!

My fiance was married before with no kids and this is my first. I'm 31 and he is 33. We are going to have a short ceremony in a chapel before going to the reception. We are inviting 150 to the wedding. I really wanted to have 3 close friends be my bridesmaids and my sister my maid of honor. We also would have 2 nieces as flower girls and 1 niece as a junior bridesmaid.Everyone keeps telling me not to have my 3 friends as bridesmaids becaue it would look silly and out of taste for a short ceremony and to just keep the maid of honor and the young girls. Any suggestions what to do?

This is to beacky do what YOU want to do, don't let anyone change your mind, they will have thier day, or they already have, stand up for your self and tell them to mind thier own.

My boyfriend and i are planning to get married next summer June 4 2005. I have alot of quistions, i love the colors purple and yellow but someone told me its to Easter looking, i would like to have purple bridesmaid dresses and have yellow roses for the girles to carry. does anyone have any ideas for my wedding colors? Or how to do yellow and purple with out looking to much like Easter.

im getting maried next year 2005, my fiancee and me have already been together for 13 years and have 3 lovely children. We planned on the children (1 girl, 2 boys)been included in the civil ceremony and with that thought all was fine as the day would be special for our children by including them....and then.....on announcing our date with the future mother-in-law she asked me who was my bridesmaid, I answered my daughter, then she stated that I "have to" include my fiances sister as bridesmaid aswell or she will be offended if not asked to play this part on our day.The thing is Im not really that close to her, (although I was going to try and grab some sisterly bonds with her by including her by helping me with general ideas and arrangements) and my children are 12, 10 + 3, I didnt even consideer this initially, but what is making things worse is my future sister in law has also announced her 2 boys (age 10+13) are our ushers because they too would love to have a role to play and my fiance has agreed. These issues are all spoiling my exitement for the day because if I say no I have my plans, its me who has to tell my future in laws because my fiance thinks I should just go along and include his sister and all her sons and theres no big deal, so now Im the baddie !!Also my future mother in law has suggested to my fiance that maybe he should think of having his sisters husband as his best man, to which he has given a firm NO as he is not particulary fond of him..so therefore left to the mother in law (who by the way i am quite fond of in normal circumsatnces)the whole of my fiances sisters family will be included in our wedding. I dont have a big family so on my side of the family there is only my mum besides many friends as my father passed away 10 years ago, and all grandmothers, grandfathers etc have also either passed away or havnt been in touch for years so I have struggled with the actual wedding idea for a long time now and this is basically why we opted for a small civil ceremony instead of a church and then about 130 people are being invited to the reception. What do I do, include them as they are now going to be my extended family and keep them sweet, or put my foot down with my original plans?........can anyone help with suggestions as im an absolute emotional rollercoaster at the moment

This is for Jane....2 options: Elope with the kids!! Sounds like too much aggravation, especially since you've been together 13 years. Second option is you might have to be the big baddie and tell your mother in law you just wanted "your kids" in the ceremony and thats all. You could have the two nephews play another role for example passing out the ceremony pamphlets. Good Luck!!

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I am planning an outdoor wedding.. and let's talk about stress! Trying to predict the weather months in advance. Any tips on an outdoor ceremony? ( reception will be indoors)

I am planning an outdoor wedding.. and let's talk about stress! Trying to predict the weather months in advance. Any tips on an outdoor ceremony? ( reception will be indoors)

For the great outdoors count on it not going your way. Is this wed in the spring or summer months? a great thing that could bacome an event saver is have some sort of activity for the guest inside at there table incase the worst happens and it dose decide to rain. If it decides to rain for an hour, it would be ok to "delay" the ceremony for an hour if you had to. Have the guest ushered inside to there table and ask them to take turns sharing stories and/or memories about either of both of you. Before you knopw it the rain will have lightened and you can begin the happiest day of your life. If the rain lightens but dose not stop that would be fine too. Also plan on serving beverages to you waiting guests. Also plan and accept that you might possibly need to shorten the ceremony/vows or hey, just plan a short one to begin with.

I'm having an outside wedding in April. It's very stressful to hope that your day turns out to be a sunny one. It's so stressful to think about your wedding getting rained on. Does anyone have any suggestions on what to have on columns? I have these white columns that my step-mom rented and they are very tall. They're probably as tall as me and I'm 5'3. I don't want to put any tall flower vases on them because it will make it even taller and look weird. So if anyone has any suggestions it would really help a lot.

Monique - Maybe you could wrap ribbon, or ivy, or some sort of flowering vine spiraling down around the columns. That would dress them up without making them any taller. Also, have you considered renting a tent, just in case there is rain. I am also planning an outdoor wedding in July, but just in case, we have an indoor backup plan. There is a building with a big beautiful stone fireplace about the length of a football field away from the ceremony location. Reception will follow at a completely different location. I really hope we don't have to use our back up plan, but we live in Minnesota, and the weather can be very unpredictable. Just playing it safe, and praying for a beautiful day.

I am a future sister in law, and have not been asked to be part of the wedding. Although i originally thought it was fine and i truly didn't expect it, well, as time goes by i feel insulted. She is with my brother because of my best friend and I hooking her up, and she has a number of jobs for me to do at the wedding. I guess because i don't feel she has ever made any effort to bond in anyway, that this is kind of insulting. It shows me she wants very little to do with his side of the family too.

susie-WOW! Listening to your post has made me realize that I would be living with guilty stress if I wouldn't have asked my FI's sisters. I really didn't want to ask his siters because I was afriad they would reck it but the day we went dress shopping I called them up and asked them. (Talk about last min. but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't include them) I would have felt guilty if they had said something to me about me making them feel bad. But chosing and having to leave lifetime friends out hurts too. You can't have everyone. So I suggest that you take the time to get to know all her BM's and that will show her and her friends (incase she has complained about you to them) and they will all see how great and wonderful you are. Before you know you'll be one of the girls before this whole wedding is over. good luck and kep a smile, support your brother and focus on keeping your relationship with him good. I'm sure you'll be exellent at what you are going to do for them, if worst comes to worst do it for your bro.

I have the mother-in-law and sister in-law from hell. Since I started dating my fiance, they have given me nothing but grief. I keep my distance. We have rehersal dinner the day before the wedding and she want to go to a cheap place because she doesn't like me. She also told me "it's my money and I do what I want".......I am having second thoughts about getting married. What should I do?

Lillian, My first suffestion to you is to talk it over with your man. Let him know how you feel, find out what he thinks. Maybe he is unaware of what is going on. Did his mom tell you that "she want to go to a cheap place because she doesn't like me" or is that just how you feel. I know that you have probably heard this before, but most mom's feel threatened by the future wife. They are loosing their son, or atleast that is how they see it, they don't realize that if they are nice to the future wife, that they in fact gain a daughter, not loose a son. How soon is the wedding? If you are having second thought because of his family, and not because of him, I think it would be unfair for you to call the wedding off. It is hard to find someone that you truely love. Do you feel like you can live without him??? The answer to that can tell you alot. Another suggestion may be to ask her how much she is willing to spend on the rehersal, and then ask her if you can add to that to go to the place of your choice. Also, if you have no other choice, make the cheap rehersal something fun. I knew that his family just didn't have a lot of money to put towards our wedding, and I respect that. When we started talking rehersal dinner, I suggested that we have a picnic at the ceremony site (we are getting married outside by the lake) and stick around and watch the sun set and just relax. We are excited about it, and so is the rest of our wedding party, My dad is even talking about bringing his grill so we can have burgers and brats. We are talking blankets in the grass. I hope some of this helps.

Hey ladies, I have a quick question. My brother recently got engaged. He is in the process of planning his wedding right now. Despite the fact that the girl that he is marrying is of questionable moral fiber (alcoholic,cheater, smoker, lazy) as well as minimal personal substance and class, I have accepted his choice and wholeheartedly congratulated them. Now, I found out through my mother and my female cousin that I am not in the wedding party! This is particulary hurtful to me as our father passed away one year ago and I am my brother's only sibling. I have been nothing but kind and gracious to my brother and his future wife. way to always invite them everywhere, include them in all of my plans. I have given my brother moral as well as financial support. Being as though they are deficient in social graces as well as void of any etiquette knowledge this affront is no surprise to me. My cousin also said that the bride said "I heard that K was upset, but oh well, it's my wedding and my day" I just don't understand this. I feel like this girl is intimidated by me, but I don't know why. Perhaps it is that she is un-educated, overweight, style challenged and an overall bottom feeder. I have shown her nothing but love, despite my inner feelings that she has done everything to distance my brother from my family and cheated on him several times. I have accepted her inability to be around me and my family without drinking to excess and publicly fighting with my brother while smoking menthols incessantly. Now, to add insult to injury, I found out that two of my cousins are in the wedding. I am so outraged at the disrespect and lack of loyalty displayed on behalf of my brother that I believe that I am going to have to boycott them all together. Please give me some advice. I am enraged.

K- I am getting married a week from Saturday. My sisters children were to be the ringbearer and flower girl in my wedding. A week ago my parents told me that the children will not be in the wedding and my sister and her family (all 5 of them) will not be coming. Why? Because my neice has a softball tournament that weekend. The wedding has been planned for a year, the kids were committed to be in the wedding in January. The reason I tell you this is because our siblings don't always share the same intellect, class, and thoughtfulness. The bride is right, it IS her day. I have worked to include everyone on both sides of our family (mine and his) in the wedding/reception somehow. But, she clearly isnt interested in how others feel. Don't be enraged. Rather, change your expectations. If we expect those who lack class to behave that way, then they can surprise us when they display some couth. Did you really think that someone you seem to loathe wouldnt see through your loving veneer and ask you to join in? A second thought about this though...

My brother was engaged to a girl much like this one you describe. She was mixing alcohol with xanex...bad scene. She also behaved...classlessly, we'll say. I asked him three things when he told me they were engaged. 1. Tell me all the things you love about her. 2. If nothing changes, will you be happy with her just as she is for the next 50 years? and 3. Make a list of all the attributes you want in a wife. check off the ones that apply to her. He broke up with her a week later. Point out to him that people rarely change. If he isn't happy with her now, he will be miserable forever.

I have to say that my wedding planning has not gone smoothly. My step-mom planned my entire wedding completely for me, with out even taking into consideration what I wanted, and then when she pushed her ideas on me, and I said no, I didn't want that, that wasn't enough, I then had to give reason for and defend my NO. It was like pulling teeth to get addresses for family members to send invitations to, but everyone was willing to give a name of a person who needed to be invited. Everyone seemed to have a say in who needs to come and who doesn't. Our small outdoor ceremony is now consisting over 100 people do to our insistent parents and grandparents. My mother-in-law is inviting her sisters to the ceremony after they were sent just reception invites. Our invites came back wrong, out musician had to cancel on us 2 months prior to the date. My future mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law wouldn't come to the bridal shower. My future husbands father isn't even coming to the wedding. We took the time to send out save the dates 9 months prior to the date, and all of our out of state family is not coming. Oh, and the greatest thing is that my mothers mother, yes my grandmother is trying to change everything. She didn't like the wording on our invites. She thinks it is poor etiquette to list Our actual mom's and grandma's names prior to their second husband's names. Who would put their step-dad's name prior to their own mom's name??? Oh and how could I forget our maybe flower girl who wouldn't even put a dress on so we could see how it fit her, but she is going to be in the wedding. Grandma insists on it. I write all of this not to complain, but to let the rest of you know that planning a wedding is stressful, and challenging and fun to quote my mother. I guess the bottom line is that the day will come and go, and sooner or later, you will laugh about all of this. You can't get all stressed out about it. You can only control your own actions. You can't change anything else. It may rain, the sun may shine. Your flower girl may show up, she may walk down the isle, or she may scream bloody murder during the entire ceremony. We can't control that. You find a new musician, you get your invited re-printed, you have the ceremony even though some really important people choose not to be there in the flesh, but as long as you think of them on your special day, there isn't much more you can do. Inevitably, you will have a person or 2 or 8 that will try to change your plans, and will tell you what to do. You have to stay true to yourself and your man; after all, it is your day, not anyone else's. You are celebrating your love for one another and it should be your celebration. You can take into consideration what other people think, but it is ultimately up to you to do what you want to do. I myself know that I have hurt people's feelings, but we cannot control how other people feel. We can tell them we are sorry for hurting their feelings, and be considerate of that, but you have to do it sometimes, no one can walk through life without hurting someone. It isn't possible.

My brother and his girlfriend are now engaged and planning a May/06 wedding. She has 3 sisters whom are all in the wedding. I have never been asked. He is my only brother and we are best friends. I actually fixed them up. My husband is even in the wedding. I am really hurt! Does anyone else think that I have a right to be upset?

I would be very upset if I wasn't ask to be in my brother's wedding party, especially if he was in mine. I didn't ask my sister-in-law to be in my bridal party because she is much older than me and my husband. My husband had my brother on his side of the bridal party to represent my side of the family and I chose his cousin (who is similar in age to us and who we are closer to than his sister) to represent his side on my side of the bridal party. it is only appropriate to have someone from each side of the family represented in the bridal party...