By Candy Friedman
Wedding Shower Gifts
You've heard about those wedding superstitions and traditions.
You'll probably abide by at least one of them for your own
wedding. But where did they come from and why do we practice
them?
Something old, something new. Where did that come from? There's
even a poem that goes:
Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in your shoe
The rhyme originated in Victorian times, although some of
customs referred are much older. The something old" represents
the couple's friends who will hopefully remain close during
the marriage. Traditionally this was an old garter which was
given to the bride by a happily married woman in hopes that
her happiness would be passed on to the new bride.
"Something new" symbolizes the newlyweds' happy
and prosperous future. The "something borrowed"
is often a valuable item of the family given to the bride.
The bride must return the item to ensure good luck. The custom
of the bride wearing "something blue" originated
in ancient Israel where the bride wore a blue ribbon in her
hair to represent fidelity. The placing of a silver sixpence
in the bride's shoe was to ensure wealth in the couples married
life. Today some brides substitute a penny in their shoe since
there aren't too many silver sixpences floating around in
the US.
Why are wedding dresses supposed to be white? Most brides
today marry in white because it symbolizes maidenhood and
purity. (Yeah, right!)
This tradition started by the nobility in sixteenth century
Europe. The tradition was given a boost by Queen Victoria
who chose to marry in white instead of silver, which was the
traditional color of royal brides. Before the white dress
brides wore their best dress. The color was a matter of preference.
The following is a traditional rhyme offering advice on dress
color:
Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Blue, your love will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Brown, you will live in town,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back.
Advice on which month to marry in is given by the following
rhyme:
Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll
know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and
fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.
Marry in May and you'll live to rue the day.
May is considered an unlucky month to marry for a number
of reasons. In Pagan times the start of summer was when the
festival of Beltane was celebrated with outdoor orgies. This
was therefore thought to be an unsuitable time to start married
life. In Roman times the Feast of the Dead and the festival
of the goddess of chastity both occurred in May. The advice
was taken more seriously in Victorian times than it is today.
In most churches the end of April was a busy time for weddings
as couples wanted to avoid being married in May. Queen Victoria
is thought to have forbidden her children from marrying in
May.
The wedding dress also has a few traditions. It is thought
unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding dress. It is
also unlucky for the groom to see the bride in her wedding
dress before she arrives at the ceremony. The bride should
not wear her entire outfit before the wedding day. Some brides
leave a final stitch on the dress undone until it is time
to leave for the ceremony when the outfit is completed.
Traditionally, brides have been thought to be particularly
vulnerable to evil spirits and many of the customs and traditions
associated with weddings are to provide protection. The veil
was originally worn by Roman brides since it was thought that
it would disguise the bride and therefore outwit evil spirits.
The veil became popular in Britain in the eighteen hundreds.
It is associated with modesty and chastity. In some Eastern
ceremonies the bride is veiled and the groom is not allowed
to see the bride's face until after the wedding ceremony.
In some Jewish weddings there is a ritual where the groom
ensures that the bride is his intended before placing the
veil over her face. Bridesmaids were dressed in a similar
way to the bride for the same reason as the origin of veil.
The bridesmaids were thought to act as decoys to confuse evil
spirits and thus protect the bride.
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| Chris -- Friday, May 2 2003, 11:19 am Don't forget these:
1. The bride stands on the groom's left - originally
started so that the groom would have his right arm free to
fight off challengers/other suitors.
2. The tiered cake tradition - originally started when
they would stack pieces of bread like a pyramid for the
reception.
Marie -- Wednesday, May 7 2003, 05:42 pm Grooms were not allowed to see the bride before the wedding
back during mail order bride days due to the groom (or
bride)backing out of the deal. Hince the bad luck.
Susy -- Saturday, May 24 2003, 10:14 am You shouldn´t get married at 12h noon, because that´s the
time that the devil is on the loose. (Portuguese Tradition).
Erica -- Friday, February 27 2004, 11:00 am At the reception the bride must stand and dance in a
trough(a clean one) and then lead a sister, primarily if it
is an elder sister, into the trough. This is to pass the
bride's good fortune on to the sister and in hopes that this
would provide enough luck that the older sister would get
married.
Kate -- Saturday, March 6th 2004 -- Saturday, March 6 2004, 06:57 pm Change your name but not the letters
Marry for worse not for better.
charina------Thursday march 25,2004 -- Thursday, March 25 2004, 12:31 am The most important thing to a wedding is unconditional
LOVE....blessing from your loved ones and GOD at the center
of your relationship...
Emma -- Monday, June 7 2004, 06:23 am this website is very interesting and helps me alot with my
textiles coursework as i am going to be making a flower
girls dress, yet you have no history on this so i can not
complete it! i cannot find any hisatory of the flower girls
dress so if you could do this i will be very helpful!!!
Janet Fischer -- Monday, June 21 2004, 12:11 pm Where/when did the idea of using the gift bows from a
wedding shower be used for the ceremony rehearsal?
dee -- Thursday, July 8 2004, 09:09 am dance with the bride for a dollar - starts with the oldest
women in the brides family removing the birdes head piece
and tying a blue ribbon in her hair - the grooms men carry
trays of shots of whiskey, the bridesmaides, slices of the
wedding cake - the maid of honor sits on a chair wearing an
apron. The removal of the head piece symbolizes going from
birde to wife - dance is done to urkranian or polish music -
take a shot, drop some money in the apron, and give the
bride a spin on the floor - slowly a circle forms around the
bride - the last dance is with the bride and her father -
the circle tightens and the groom must rescue her - pick her
up - and carry her out of the building - to start their new
life - the cash of course is to help the couple start their
home
K.D. -- Monday, August 23 2004, 10:13 am Where did the traditon of the (American) Wedding shower come
from? The traditions of the Indonsian islands and Australia
have no such "pre-marriage" gathering.
violet -- Saturday, August 28 2004, 03:14 pm im having difficult time in finding a color for m reception
Anita -- Monday, September 27 2004, 05:25 pm Is there a tradition that says you have to remove the
sixpence at the reception in order for the "good luck" to
come true?
Alison -- Tuesday, September 28 2004, 02:59 pm Where does the tradition of the bride and groom feeding each
other cake come from? I always thought it was odd and
unless there is a good tradition behind it, I'd rather not
do it!
Larissa -- Tuesday, November 2 2004, 03:33 pm i think this tradition of the poem is perfect
Amanda -- Thursday, November 25 2004, 05:11 pm The tradition of feeding each other wedding cake is supposed
to symbolize the first meal that the bride and groom share
together.
rain -- Tuesday, January 11 2005, 02:42 am what is the best color motif for my wedding... i need
help.
Terise -- Tuesday, February 8 2005, 06:46 pm I know all of the traditins are changing so what is the new
way to have to wedding march? Does anyone do that anymore?
Please help a confused bride!
Melanie -- Saturday, February 12 2005, 12:27 pm I got married this past August and I walked in on my
father's arm. We came in to the traditional wedding march.
If that isnèt your cup of tea, my sister in-law who also got
married this past summer walked in to instrumental music.
My sister is planning her 2006 wedding and is looking into
hiring a harpist. Hope this helps any of you future brides.
Good luck and congratulations!
Cole B -- Wednesday, February 16 2005, 02:27 pm I have three friends that are getting married. Two of the
weddings I will be in.One I'm the maid of honor, and the
other I am a brides maid. What is a good party to give for
these wonderful brides to be.
snow -- Thursday, March 17 2005, 11:32 am I have no idea of what type of ceremony to have nor of any
of the traditions except for what you see on t.v. which is
all the same thing. I want something different please help
me!!!!!!
linda -- Wednesday, April 13 2005, 08:59 am there is a poem for young couples that i have been trying to
find where you give them a loaf of bread and some canned
goods and candles and recite a long list of what you want
for them every item has a meaning can you help
Maggie -- Thursday, April 14 2005, 03:15 pm Is it bad luck to let my friends child wear my tiara for her
first communion? I wore it in my Catholic wedding six
months ago and she just adores it and wants to be special on
her special day
Julie -- Monday, April 18 2005, 11:20 am Many people have failed to read the info on this site, I
see! Coincidence or not, it sure is susicious that I've seen
many marriages fail when simple yet queer traditions like
this are not upheld!
Chelsey -- Tuesday, April 26 2005, 05:02 pm I am getting married Friday, May 13,2005!!! I never knew it
was a bad month, I'm ready to seriously postpone it.
Ange -- Monday, June 20 2005, 11:09 am This is a great idea in which I will be using at my
ceremony. Instead of lighting the traditional Unity
Candles, I am using sand. You take one medium sized vase
with both of the brides and grooms first initial engraved on
it. Then two smaller vases, one with the brides first
initial, and the other with the grooms first initial. The
grooms vase has black sand, the the brides' has white. The
grooms mother first pours some of the black sand in the
bottom of the bigger vase, then the mother of the bride
pours the same amount(approx) on top of the black sand.
(This happens prior to the bride down the aisle. Then when
the vows are read etc, the bride and groom pour each of the
sand at the same time,
Roselynd -- Friday, July 1 2005, 03:01 am Okay... I've seen the poem before with the colors of wedding
gowns. It was bad enough reading it the first time.
Reading the one about the months is even worse. It reads
similar to "Step on the cracks and break your mother's
back". Chelsey, don't postpone your wedding because of a
stupid archaic poem of unknown origin. I'm getting married
on May 15th, 2005 and my fiancé and I aren't going to change
that date. It's already our anniversary anyway and we've
been perfectly happy so far. Take that superstition! Ha!
Besides that, if you read all the voodoo superstitions
out there about weddings, you'll drive yourself nuts. Don't
you think planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is
without trying to work out what people were afraid of during
a time when it was traditional to steal your brides from a
neighboring village and have the best man fight off possible
family members who might try to steal the bride back? Some
of these "traditions" are based on superstitions so old,
they were probably still trying to figure out if they really
believed if the world was round. I mean, seriously
folks....
Just make sure you REALLY love the one you plan on
marrying and that your intended truly loves you in return.
Make sure that this is something that you both truly want to
do, not what is simply expected. As long as you're marrying
each other for love and know in your heart that you'd
happily spend the rest of your life with this person and
can't imagine yourself without them, then it's the right
thing to do - no matter what color you wear, what day it is,
or if you have one foot in a bucket of porridge while
singing the national anthem (it's probably a tradition
somewhere).
Good Luck to everyone here - but most of all - be true to
yourself and true to your heart. Then everything will be
fine.
Sarah -- Friday, July 1 2005, 04:22 pm Don't worry about Friday May 13th. My parents met on Friday
the 13th which also happened to be my father's birthday.
They have now been married for 35 years and I have never
seen a happier couple. My family considers 13 a lucky
number and I was thrilled when my fiance proposed to me on
February 13. We are currently planning a May wedding. I'm
a Christian and I'm certainly not going to change my wedding
date because of Greek and Roman festivals to Greek and Roman
gods and goddesses.
The truth is, if the relationship is strong and the
marriage is right, then no superstition is going to help or
hurt things. Good luck all!
-- Saturday, July 9 2005, 10:25 am My husband and I were married in May 1968---
and are still happy 37 years later.
Heidi -- Monday, July 18 2005, 09:24 pm First, my mom and dad got married in May 1969 and are still
happily married. The couple makes the marriage, the
traditions make the ceremony fun! I can't worry about days
or months or anything. My fiance is in Iraq and whenever he
gets his leave in the spring of 2006, we're throwing the
wedding. I'll just be happy with seeing him and saying I
DO! Yay!
Marie -- Friday, July 29 2005, 11:12 am I got married on Friday, May 13. It was beautiful!
John -- Friday, August 19 2005, 03:00 am Just a question:
Does anyone know what the flower girl and ring bearer
symbolize in a wedding?
A friend of mine and I were having a discussion on the
various wedding traditions that America has, and we couldn't
agree on what this one means. He says that when a wedding
has a flower girl and ring bearer it means that the
fertility of the bride and groom has been ... uhhh ...
confirmed. Anyone have any idea?
needs help -- Thursday, October 20 2005, 02:15 am got to give a gift to a cuzz i met twis don't know and of my
real father that has not raised me so i am lost .
i ahve native background but i grew up in newfoundland needs
something romantic , thoughtfull but too out of this
word.eanyone need help badly
needs help -- Thursday, October 20 2005, 02:20 am got to give a gift to a cuzz! i met twis don't know? and of
my real father that has not raised me, so i am lost .
i am of native background but i grew up in Newfoundland
needs something romantic , thoughtfull but from me .
something i can bring but nothing comes to mind anyone got
any ideas?
need help badly
Help me -- Sunday, November 20 2005, 04:17 pm I am getting married in Aug (early aug) and I picked light
colors is that okay for an August wedding.
amanda -- Saturday, November 26 2005, 04:30 am I am getting married in a couple of months. I am 18 and my
fiancee is 21. We have been together for 4 years. No one is
happy about our engagement. They say we are too young. But
if someone is 30 and knows someone for a few months and
marries them it is ok. We have been together 4
years!!!!Whats the big deal???We both have great jobs and we
just recently bought a home. I am christian and i belive
that marriage is a good thing. I feel that is the next step
in my life and i should take it. No one could make me
happier than my fiancee does so whats the problem with us
getting married????
-- Tuesday, December 6 2005, 02:10 pm why do we place cake toppers as in a bride and groom on top
of the weding cake.? when did this start?
Leslie -- Monday, January 16 2006, 08:56 am What are the best colors for an August wedding.. i want to
have a fairytale themed wedding!
sarah -- Sunday, January 22 2006, 11:47 pm to the woman with the fiance in Iraq, these are just funny
quirks woman like to read. you dont have to take them
seriously i mean, have you crossed a black cat or walked
under a ladder? No different. and to amanda, i hope your
wedding with your 21 year old fiance goes wonderful, people
are probably upset with it because supposedly you change a
lot between your teens and your twenties (kinda like it
would be upsetting if a 7 year old dated a 10 year old and
married at 11 and 14, big difference at that age.) If you
two are in love heck, they will be proven wrong in the next
few years! Sides, you sound like you are matured enough to
know what you want. :-)
Jennifer -- Tuesday, January 24 2006, 06:34 pm my husband and I just got married in September of 2005. The
first time for both of us-he was 54, I was 51. We had our
wedding in a park, and I used the colores, sll shades of
pink to light wine, all greens, all purples, and white. I
wore a 3 piece dove colored vintage lace suit, that hung
down to the ground, a pearl veil, and white and silver
shoes. What ever you see for your wedding go for it.
shorty -- Tuesday, January 31 2006, 10:32 pm im getting married in aug of next year we have been together
for 5 years and i have to be the luckest women in the world
T'Chel -- Thursday, February 2 2006, 10:20 pm I feel ya Roselynd!! Forget all that tradition...concentrate
on the real reason your getting married..."LOVE"!
Brandie -- Friday, February 3 2006, 12:03 pm I am getting married in Aug of this year and I am having
trouble picking colors. Any sugestions. Also I would like
to have a wishing well theme and can not find invitations.
Can anyone help?
Joy -- Sunday, February 5 2006, 05:07 pm I am getting married in July. I have picked out a reception
site and all. We are having a large wedding, about 600
folks.
(And, because I'm sure someone is thinking this, we don't
own a house yet. In the part of the country I live in, a
townhouse costs about $650,000 - forget a house - and we're
going to wait until we've been married for one year to
commit to type of mortgage payment).
I am trying to find a unique guest book. Does anyone know
where I can find one?
I am also trying to find inexpensive wedding favors. Any
ideas?
Layla -- Thursday, February 23 2006, 05:59 pm Do you think italian they have they own wedding shower? when
you say europen they have wedding shower can you tell me
what country ???
Katy -- Monday, March 13 2006, 04:00 pm This is to Joy,,
Have you ever been to michaels crafts store? You might be
able to find items there for your wedding. Thats where I got
alot of my stuff
Staci -- Thursday, March 16 2006, 11:24 pm I'm having an outdoor wedding in August of this year. I want
to be tradidtional and unique at the same time any ideas?
Staci -- Thursday, March 16 2006, 11:25 pm I'm having an outdoor wedding in August of this year. I want
to be traditional and unique at the same time any ideas?
Veronica -- Sunday, March 19 2006, 03:29 am I got married in a court house Sept 2005 and me and my
husband want to redo our wedding in Sept 2007 so that our
families can share our memories and give us their blessings
and everything. But right now I am in a crisis because my
bio father has never played apart in my life but my mom
remarried 3 or 4 years ago. Any suggestions on who I should
have give me away? My thoughts are one of my two brothers,
or let father and step father walk half-way down the aisle?
Does anyone see my confusion.
Maureen -- Thursday, April 6 2006, 09:11 am Does anyone know the "History of the Wedding Rose"
casey -- Saturday, May 27 2006, 12:25 pm i am not married
ashley -- Tuesday, June 6 2006, 04:44 pm I once heard of a "wedding vase" where husband and wife used
it to swap love notes... anybody know what I'm talking
about?
Meghan -- Sunday, June 11 2006, 10:47 pm August of 07 wedding... my colors are hot pink and orange- i
cannot decide what flowers will flow with those colors tthe
greatest, any suggestions??
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